Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Let's do it....

(Disclaimer: Some of my surgery deets are in this and are a little stomach read with caution! haha!)

So, it's my last day in Atlanta before we leave to go home to Ohio and i'm laying here planning. I love to plan. But this is serious planning. {insert serious face} 
So I know i've sorta kinda been over this, but you know when you have that "AHaaaa" moment? and the plan suddenly gets set in stone and the pencil gets erased and the Sharpie comes out....well that's what happened. 

My body has been out of my control just lately. Without being too gross, a small part of my surgery this week was separating my organs. I had adhesions all over my abdomen, and so technically that meant that a whole bunch of my organs were all stuck together. If you're wondering if I could feel it, yes, I could. In the way that if I moved too fast, or tried to run, dance my insides would hurt like crazy and move unnaturally. A few days before I left to come down here, my mum, her BFF and I were dancing amuse the kidlings and I got a little over excited and busted out one of my old moves, I felt an almighty rrrrrrrrrip. I wanted to cry, puke and faint all at the same time from the pain. I come to find out now, after the surgery, that that rip was just that, a was the adhesions tearing apart. *shudder*. 

So part of my surgery, all those adhesions have been removed now!! Along with the rest of the stuff they did during my surgery, in a few weeks I will be able to exercise. I'm hoping in a week or so to get hold of a treadmill to just get my body prepared by walking lightly and slowly working up to jogging like I used to when I was younger. I loved running in college.
So my big plan: To put myself first and get in shape. It's one thing to want to lose weight, and like the idea of working out, and another thing to have a break through. I've HAD my breakthrough today, and i'm ready. I'm ready to s-l-o-w-l-y work up to working out and being the best ME. I want to dance again, and to dance, I need to be fit and flexible. So that's the plan. I know it's silly to some, but to me, after going through pregnancies, one being a mulitple, and putting my body through all of those in basically torture to my 27yr old body. Now it's my turn to give back to my body and treat it like the flippin' hero it is! As much as I like to think Cold Stone is a treat, really it's just more punishment. I hate not fitting into my clothes, and I hate having to select size Large, I hate catching myself in the mirror, I rarely take any pictures, we have ZERO family pictures with me in it etc.

I am not saying appearance is what ultimately matters...not at all. This is strictly how I feel personally, about ME. If someone is happy when they are bigger, you can tell, they are comfortable in themselves, and hold themselves confidently and wear cute clothes and jewellry etc.. But I can not be. Most of the time I cover myself up, I wear clothes that are uncomfortable on me....technically sweats/yoga pants should be comfy, but they're not to me, as they are all I CAN wear because what I really want to wear, doesn't fit. This doesn't mean when I've gotten fit I won't wear yoga pants, as I absolsutely will...I will just buy myself NEW and maybe even FANCY ones...maybe even an outfit from somewhere other than Target. I'll maybe buy new jewellry and accessories, which I don't anymore as I don't feel I deserve it. This is not a sob story, more of just an admission that I am aware that I am making myself miserable. No one else is accountable. Just myself. Ouch.

So...basically, I am writing this post to take accountability for this, and to say I WILL lose this weight, and more importantly, I WILL feel healthy again. The irony is, I don't even like fast food, I don't like fake food, so i'm not going to miss any of those things...I mainly eat badly because I go for quick or I just graze off my kids plates when they are done, and don't eat the proper things my body needs. After having such an intense surgery, I owe it to my body to take ownership of what goes in and how it is treated. 

So, readers, there you have it, right from the horses mouth...I WILL get back in shape and good health. For my happiness, and to be a great example to my children...and dang....I want to be a hot wife too! ;) If anyone else is on this journey then i'd love to hear from you so we can swap tips, and cheerlead each other, if you want to start with me then speak up! I know that this is not a decision anyone can make for you, as before when it was suggested to me, I kicked back and it ticked me is a choice you have to be ready for, or else you're not in it 100%. I'm there now, and won't ask anyone to join me, but I will say, I'd love to have some fellow life changers with me! :)

Here's to a healthy 2013...whether it takes 6months or a year....i'm going to lose 40lbs and be doing cartwheels soon enough!! If I find any super awesome tips, exercises, recipes etc. i'll post. I won't be doing any fads, or taking any diet pill supplements as we don't have $$ to start all that, and I just don't really believe in them. Nothing is more powerful than a woman's mind made up! ;) 

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Don't forget....

         If you want to get to know us, know about our health kick or are here searching for answers about endo then check out the tabs above! ^ I forced the husband to answer questions, and answered them myself etc! Feel free to pinch the questionaire yourself and put one up on your own blogs so your readers can get to know the weird and wonderful things about you! :)

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Sunday, February 10, 2013

A little introduction....

Hello & Welcome to my blog!

This blog is something i'm beginning as I begin a new chapter in my life. The chapter i'm beginning is one of health. :) I am sitting up in a hotel bed right now, it is day 5 after I've had a surgery which I have waited a few years for.  It is not a "serious illness" to many, but it was a life changing illness to me. Endometriosis has taken over my body since puberty and i'm finally on the way to beating it I think! I will cover my endo journey in another section of the blog, but I wanted to explain the main reason to the start of this blog. I want a fresh start where I start to do what I talk about doing, say what I want to say and achieve the things I want to achieve. It's quite simple really. It's a peek into the life of a wife and Mummy of 4 little ones (They are all 4yrs and fact I had them all within 30months!!) and all the excitement that goes along with it. I often have an opinion on things that happen every day and I want to start sharing those opinions and maybe making a difference to at least one or two other women.

Other than being a wife and mummy, I am a photographer (mostly lifestyle and natural light), crafty crafter, I love to sew, an advice giver and I love to organize. I'm not saying i'm 100% fabulous at all these things, but I 100% enjoy doing them all.

So here goes nothing.

A little back story to myself for anyone who likes a little history behind who they are reading about.

I was born in London, but from the age of 2, grew up in a little village named Biddenden, in the South East of England. It is just South of London. About 45 minutes away to be exact.

I had a pretty privileged childhood where I got to experience a lot of fun things, go visit a bunch of awesome places and was surrounded by people who helped shape me as a person. My family had lots of friends growing up, but all different types of friends, and as a result, I got to know people of all different backgrounds and lifestyles. We visited places that we took interest in, and flew/ferried our way to different countries too. It's safe to say my parents liked to expose us to knowledge. In no way am I claiming to be a super intelligent/boffin, but I AM claiming to have pretty AWESOME parents who tried to ensure we had a good start to life.

I attended an all girls boarding school. It was an experience, let's say. I have some hilarious memories from there, some great friends and at the end of the day it led me to where I am now....if it was somewhat inadvertently. As with most private schools, academic was the priority....the one problem for me....I wasn't (and still am not!) the most academic. I'm still useless with grammar, AWFUL at maths, do not understand science and favourite thing about that was flirting with the teacher! hahaha! (another perk of an all girls school!)

The other thing I learned at school....girls can be mean. A lot. The irony now is that a lot of the girls who were "mean" sort of amounted to being...well....the same as they always were. They were trying to keep up with the Jones's (or some other double barreled name) and most likely still are. I'm fairly certain my dream was always to marry the love of my life, and have a happy, successful family. By happy and successful, I mean, just that. Happy and Successful...for themselves. Not for anyone else. I was made fun of for being "me", and I see that teens still are. I'll never understand it. If it doesn't directly effect you, then, why on earth do you care?? I wasn't part of the rich gang, I didn't carry the right bag, hang the right designer tear out poster on my wall, have a whole gaggle of friends called Freddy, Fergus, Angus, I vacationed in Torrevieja, not St Tropez, bought my luggage from Matalan, not LV etc., but you know what...I didn't care. I didn't care until THEY cared. I was quite happy being me, and not until I overheard the whispers.

This blog is to help clear up a few things in my head. As much as I wish those years hadn't been so hard, and those girls hadn't cornered me to say things simply to humiliate me, or make me feel small, I am grateful for them, as they built me. I am not angry with those girls, and in fact,  it is so fun to me to see fellow classmates succeed and become women of worth. Maybe they had no idea how their words broke my spirit at the time. I would sometimes lie to avoid embarrassment, or to just somehow skip over a conversation, and that in turn would lead me to disliking myself.

I wish that girls knew these things now, and knew how hard our lives can get in a few years, so making this time in our lives a little kinder, having a little more empathy, might give them a little less to regret in the future. I wish that girls could take just one moment a day to think of something nice/genuine to say to one unsuspecting person and see how this built them up. It not only builds up the recipient, but pointing out sweet things about others helps you maybe see some sweet things about yourself that you didn't realise.

I'm not an ignorant person, and am fully aware that we all have different opinions and ideals, but i'm not ashamed to say that I believe we all (and our opinions) can live peacefully together. As long as the choices you make do not physically affect me or my family, then I have absolutely no right to oppose how you choose to live your life, and vice versa. Freedom of speech I think all too often gets confused with freedom to in, people don't know when to just hush. I think we all have great worth in who we are, and it may or may not be clear to everyone what our individual worth is, but irregardless of that, the worth is there. I saw a quote the other day which I thought was just perfect and wanted to share as it seemed so perfect for my first post:

(source unknown)
Too often I see people judging and putting their opinions out where really they are not welcome. It's seen in schools so much now, and even back when I was there. Just because someone is different, or the same things don't make them happy, doesn't mean their view is of less value.
This post was just meant to just start my blog off in the way I basically say, this blog is MY opinion, and things I love, if you agree, then read on, if not, that's ok too! I have always been a little too afraid to say my own opinion before, but this blog is the start. I don't mean pushy, I just mean i'll be sharing what makes me happy and what I think might give others happiness too.  (wow...I sound like a hippy!)
Ok...serious blog post over, and now moving onto more normal regular blogging, but try to remember this idiom...
 Live and Let Live.

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