Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Let's do it....

 
(Disclaimer: Some of my surgery deets are in this and are a little stomach turning...so read with caution! haha!)

So, it's my last day in Atlanta before we leave to go home to Ohio and i'm laying here planning. I love to plan. But this is serious planning. {insert serious face} 
So I know i've sorta kinda been over this, but you know when you have that "AHaaaa" moment? and the plan suddenly gets set in stone and the pencil gets erased and the Sharpie comes out....well that's what happened. 

My body has been out of my control just lately. Without being too gross, a small part of my surgery this week was separating my organs. I had adhesions all over my abdomen, and so technically that meant that a whole bunch of my organs were all stuck together. If you're wondering if I could feel it, yes, I could. In the way that if I moved too fast, or tried to run, dance my insides would hurt like crazy and move unnaturally. A few days before I left to come down here, my mum, her BFF and I were dancing amuse the kidlings and I got a little over excited and busted out one of my old moves, I felt an almighty rrrrrrrrrip. I wanted to cry, puke and faint all at the same time from the pain. I come to find out now, after the surgery, that that rip was just that, a rip....it was the adhesions tearing apart. *shudder*. 

So anyways....as part of my surgery, all those adhesions have been removed now!! Along with the rest of the stuff they did during my surgery, in a few weeks I will be able to exercise. I'm hoping in a week or so to get hold of a treadmill to just get my body prepared by walking lightly and slowly working up to jogging like I used to when I was younger. I loved running in college.
So my big plan: To put myself first and get in shape. It's one thing to want to lose weight, and like the idea of working out, and another thing to have a break through. I've HAD my breakthrough today, and i'm ready. I'm ready to s-l-o-w-l-y work up to working out and being the best ME. I want to dance again, and to dance, I need to be fit and flexible. So that's the plan. I know it's silly to some, but to me, after going through pregnancies, one being a mulitple, and putting my body through all of those in 30months...is basically torture to my 27yr old body. Now it's my turn to give back to my body and treat it like the flippin' hero it is! As much as I like to think Cold Stone is a treat, really it's just more punishment. I hate not fitting into my clothes, and I hate having to select size Large, I hate catching myself in the mirror, I rarely take any pictures, we have ZERO family pictures with me in it etc.


I am not saying appearance is what ultimately matters...not at all. This is strictly how I feel personally, about ME. If someone is happy when they are bigger, you can tell, they are comfortable in themselves, and hold themselves confidently and wear cute clothes and jewellry etc.. But I can not be. Most of the time I cover myself up, I wear clothes that are uncomfortable on me....technically sweats/yoga pants should be comfy, but they're not to me, as they are all I CAN wear because what I really want to wear, doesn't fit. This doesn't mean when I've gotten fit I won't wear yoga pants, as I absolsutely will...I will just buy myself NEW and maybe even FANCY ones...maybe even an outfit from somewhere other than Target. I'll maybe buy new jewellry and accessories, which I don't anymore as I don't feel I deserve it. This is not a sob story, more of just an admission that I am aware that I am making myself miserable. No one else is accountable. Just myself. Ouch.

So...basically, I am writing this post to take accountability for this, and to say I WILL lose this weight, and more importantly, I WILL feel healthy again. The irony is, I don't even like fast food, I don't like fake food, so i'm not going to miss any of those things...I mainly eat badly because I go for quick or I just graze off my kids plates when they are done, and don't eat the proper things my body needs. After having such an intense surgery, I owe it to my body to take ownership of what goes in and how it is treated. 

So, readers, there you have it, right from the horses mouth...I WILL get back in shape and good health. For my happiness, and to be a great example to my children...and dang....I want to be a hot wife too! ;) If anyone else is on this journey then i'd love to hear from you so we can swap tips, and cheerlead each other, if you want to start with me then speak up! I know that this is not a decision anyone can make for you, as before when it was suggested to me, I kicked back and it ticked me off...it is a choice you have to be ready for, or else you're not in it 100%. I'm there now, and won't ask anyone to join me, but I will say, I'd love to have some fellow life changers with me! :)

Here's to a healthy 2013...whether it takes 6months or a year....i'm going to lose 40lbs and be doing cartwheels soon enough!! If I find any super awesome tips, exercises, recipes etc. i'll post. I won't be doing any fads, or taking any diet pill supplements as we don't have $$ to start all that, and I just don't really believe in them. Nothing is more powerful than a woman's mind made up! ;) 



5 comments:

  1. As if you need to lose 40 lbs?! You look fine. I'll hop on the bandwagon with you though, I need to lose more for sure.

    I am also hooked on blogging atm, my link is http://all-about-u-blog.blogspot.com

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    1. Hey! Oh gosh, Becky I do!! My pics are all of my "face" lately for a reason. Haha! It's miserable not fitting into ANY of my clothes. I've been on your blog, it's awesome, and I keep meaning to ask you for tips. You're so good at fitness stuff. Aren't you running the 10k too, I saw on twitter. That's a big goal of mine one day. I'd love to hear how you got there! I'll def follow your blog. Can I put your button on this blog so others can read too? :) I'd love to have some advice or just a friend to vent to on rough days! x

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  2. Yes, lets badge swap, i will put yours on mine too. I hope to do 10k but haven't been able to train much so I may just end up doing the 5k :( still, its for charity... makes me sad how unfit i am now, i was running half marathons before having max. If only gyms didn't cost so much! If you have any questions do ask, though I'm not sure how much help I would be lol. I'm not on fb anymore but you can def get me on Twitter or my blog x

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  3. Your blog badge is on! I think you'll be surprised how much help you could be to me, i'm useless with anything fitness. I played sports in school, but know NOTHING when it comes to actual fitness and the body. :)

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  4. I feel ya, sister! Thanks for sharing!

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