Saturday, July 20, 2013

A big decision for a better life.

Hello One and All!

So it appears that i've been off the radar for a little while. I can only apologize and insist now that i'm back, and i'm fairly certain i'm staying. ;)
So it's been a busy year, and blogging seemed like a luxury that I didn't have time for. However, I am taking a little leave from work (photography) for a little while here. I have had pretty poor health, and despite my surgery back in February, I've actually been pretty poorly. :( I have officially been diagnosed with a condition called Adenomyosis. I have touched on this previously, but after a visit to a specialist in Pittsburgh McGees Womens hospital, it was all made rather official. I have it pretty badly, and am in pain, it's safe to say, 24/7. The pain is rather like someone is taking a knife to my stomach over and over, whilst pooring boiling water onto my whole abdominal region. Delightful, non?
Anyways, long {emotional} story short, I have come to the conclusion that my health, happiness and overall quality of life will be better off if I have all the stuff that is bothering me, removed. Gone. In technical terms, a hysterectomy. Urgh. I know. So final. But it is what it is. We have prayed and thought about it long and hard. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and when we made the decision we felt at peace. This is all I needed to know. I have, over the last few months, come to terms with the fact that my family is complete. We have a wonderful life together, lots of noise fun, everyone gets along, and i'm finally able to read a magazine here and there (where I would normally have been balancing a baby whilst trying to get things done that were harder to get done with so many little ones. Basically, life is getting easier. Smoother. So this hysterectomy, despite being emotionally devastating, is neccessary. My children need me to join in with the water fights, teach them the moves to gangnam style.....I need to do that cliche "because i'm nearly 30 and i'm panicking about getting old" 5k run etc etc. and this is the only way to do those things.
I don't think it's all about the whole "no more kids" thing, it's also about all that "stuff" making you a woman. I know nowadays they keep your ovaries (sorry if TMI, but this is kinda a TMI blog...so...) so your hormones are less messed with, but still. It's just the idea of it all. To be honest, coming and writing it all down has helped. It's calmed the nerves a little. Maybe voicing it finally is making me realise all the things that will be possible once the deed is done. Although, i'm only doing that 5k run if someone is throwing coloured chalk dust at me, or i'm racing through millions of bubbles. I've come to expect that now after seeing all my "nearly 30yr old" friends completely their 5ks. ;)
So anyways, this was just a quick, somewhat deep, little catch up to let you know I'm baaaaaacccckkk, and to expect me here lots more while I take this little break from work, and enjoy my children, my home and some time away from shoots and editing. *Le sigh* BRING.IT.ON.
My mother will be here in just under 2 weeks as she is the one who will watching the kiddos while we go to ATL for the surgery. She's here for a good while, so i'm planning some activities to do with her. Mainly help me sort out my mess of a basement kind of activities, but shhhh, we won't tell her that quite yet. Mwuahahahaha!!
Well....i'm off to paint my nails, it's Sunday tomorrow and I need to look somewhat respectable, and since I'm not about to wash my hair (blow drying and straightening sounds too much like hard work right now) I need to have cute nails to distract other peoples eyes away from the birds nest to my delightful bright blue nails!
                     Goodnight blogger pals. xx

{Wise words that I needed this last month}

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